Underdog Jeopardy

"He’s the best .233 hitter I’ve ever seen."

About whom did WCBS radio’s John Sterling say this?  He said it today, Sat. 7-29-06 during the Yankees-Devil Rays game.  The same player had completed 11/12 stolen bases at that point. 

Answer:  Miguel Cairo

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6 comments

  1. fkay@nycboe.net

    I don’t know the answer, yet…but let me venture one terrible guess about why we lost today:

    It was boiling hot. Remember how, as, god bless him, Al Leiter got worse and worse in the heat with age…Ask me to pitch in this weather and I’d’ve fallen down like a sack of bowling balls…and I haven’t passed the 40 yet. It’s boiling hot, the air is unbreathable, and our team is

    1) mostly over thirty, many over 35

    2) depressed/displaced…how many people would take what happened to Small and Chacon lightly…save our hides and we can’t even give them a bad season, hun? Does anybody actually remember Clemens’ last season? I used to joke that we should pair him with Wells because neither could get past the fourth inning. Now we know he’s had brilliant seasons after that. Are Small and Chacon Clemens? Not exactly, but they are not chump change, either. I mean, we went out and bought Sidney Ponson NOW when we wouldn’t buy him years ago when he could actually pitch!! Kenny Rogers wasn’t good enough for us, but Ponson…

    Okay, my point is, this is not the right “weather” for our team, right now…

    I know, I know, that’s not team spirit and Jeter plays through all kinds of everything. That’s Derek Jeter. If you can find me an entire team of Derek Jeter’s, I’ll buy it and so would George Steinbrenner, and he could do it. That team ain’t out there, kids…

    So, it’s boiling hot, you’re older or you’re identity is in total confusion and you feel under-appreciated. How well are you going to do?

  2. Sharon

    I agree with many of your points but I hardheartedly do not share your empathy. Someone has to win. It might as well be the Yankees. So, Joe could pre-arrange to “platoon” pitchers in 2-3 inning units (no pun intended), just in case Randy, for example, has a day like this. Of course Joe and Gator have backup scenarios, but somehow we become vulnerable anyway, like today. It feels like our pants fell down and we hope nobody saw, but they always do. Before seeing him throw a single pitch in relielf today, John Sterling called Chacon a “failed starter.” Innacuracy and rudeness aside (this teammates had just credited him with making the sweep of Texas possible), the perception of weakness in our emergency long relief must embolden our opponents, who beat us 19-5 today! I think you can see that I take your joke about Wells and Clemens far too seriously! We SHOULD combine them in a single start! Maybe combining Randy and Chacon wouldn’t be a bad idea if we would be up front about it, if it were planned and announced in advance. Maybe they would even pitch better. We have the money. George — and I am with him on this though I could not explain why — wants the pre-historic (note tongue-in-cheek, please)names, and he chooses the older gentlemen when there is an option — Johnson and Schilling shared the World Series MVP when they ouch beat us in 2001, and we went after the older one. Except for that bloody red sock of Schilling’s in 2004, I think we got the right one, if we had to get one, of them. (I am not crazy about George’s instinct to go acquire those who defeat us. It seems not to work. The Red Sox buy those who beat us and it works. Maybe we should try purchasing the pitchers who beat up on them!) But if we are going to enjoy watching our starters go down in history, let us not be ashamed of padding our gameplans.

  3. fkay@nycboe.net

    First, what is the average age of a Devil Ray? How many of them are allowed to drink unaccompanied by an adult? Scott Kazmir?

    Joking aside, yes, let’s platoon ’em. Like Robin Zeile

    Shawn Johnson

    Aaron Wright

    Tanyon Mendoza

    Kyle Proctor (on some days)

    Heck, we have the money. How about NEVER using a full-starter!

    We could buy like 20 workhorse pitchers or so…

    So, on one outing we could have

    Mussina-Trachsel-Johnson. Also known as the LONGEST game in history. Heck, we could beat teams out of pure torture! And they all get SLOWER when they’re upset…

    With all due respect, I love all three of them. It would just be funny.

    The only person who does a game by himself is Wang. Except when he’s tired. Then it’s

    Wang-Chacon-Wells-Rogers. Call it the “Joe Torre ulcer Rotation.”

    Ah heck, bring Clemens back. And let’s buy Maddux and Glaviine (in my dreams, right), too.

    Then we can have the “All Hall of Fame Night”. Maddux-Glavine-Clemens-Mariano.

    The Astros did do this to us, once–that game where they pitched someone different every inning and they won.

    How ’bout the “Second-time, Second String” night

    Lily-Weaver-Vasquez-Contreras.

    Call that the “I hate the fans night.” Okay, I like Lily and Weaver. And my cat’s cardiologist likes Vasquez.

    Let’s not stop with pitchers. Let’s platoon EVERY position:

    Second base:

    Cairo

    Cano

    Eric Almonte (remember, he covered for Jeter…)

    Alfonso Soriano (just to pinch hit, really.)

    Third Base

    A-Rod

    Shea Hillenbrand (I’m sure the Giants will want to let him go, soon.)

    Mike Lowell

    Shortstop

    Derek Jeter

    Alex Rodriguez

    Nomar Garciaparra

    Miguel Tejada

    David Eckstein.

    There you have it. No one can beat us because we have all the good players playing all the time.

    I’m kidding.

  4. fkay@nycboe.net

    Right field
    Aaron Guiel

    Bernie Williams

    Gary Sheffield

    Bubba Crosby

    …wait, we kinda already do that

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